As the second of nine—yes, nine—children, I was no stranger to pregnancy announcements. Still, each one managed to catch me off guard.

 

I distinctly remember being called in from playing outside for a “special surprise” (which in this eight-year-old’s mind was probably ice cream!) only to find out that my mom was pregnant, again. The news that baby #6 was on the way wasn’t all that exciting to me personally (Sorry, Autumn!) —by that point, baby announcements had become a regular part of life. I believe my tone was both disappointed and somewhat annoyed; “Again? I thought we were going to have ice cream!” before running back outside—clearly unimpressed.

 

What I didn’t understand then was the extraordinary gift my parents were giving us. They weren’t just growing our family in numbers—they were building a legacy of unconditional friendship and unshakable unity.

 

I can still hear my mom’s voice, loud and firm, during one of our many sibling squabbles: “You will love and forgive one another. And you will be best friends your whole lives.”

 

As if sheer willpower could turn rambunctious kids into loving, lifelong companions. At the time, it sounded like wishful thinking—but she was laying the groundwork for something deeper.

But over time, that’s exactly what happened—not because of her will alone, or clever parenting techniques, or even our personalities. What brought us together as adults who genuinely love, support, and count on one another was something deeper:

A Christ-centered upbringing that taught us to rely on God and find joy in serving others. That foundation shaped not only our family bonds, but the kind of people we’ve become.

At the center of our family was a purpose statement—not based on personal preferences or shifting goals, but anchored in Scripture and prayer. Like the altars of remembrance the Israelites built to celebrate God’s faithfulness, our family “altar” was a verse and a motto that reminded us daily who we were—and more importantly, whose we are.

But where did it begin? Was it really my mom’s lifelong dream to have such a large family? Why couldn’t three, or five…or even six, have been enough? How did Charles and Joy Befus successfully build such a large, healthy, united, and purpose-driven family?

Read Nine Kids, On Purpose to hear the stories, mottos, and biblical principles that helped shape who we are—and find inspiration for building your own family’s legacy.

 

May our story encourage and equip you to build a family rooted in faith, united in love, and driven by purpose.